I feel obligated to clear up this title due to the forever changing meaning of words. By walk, I shuffling my legs slowly across the stage to accept my diploma during my graduation ceremony, ha. Of course, when I use transition I mean that I am growing from a former college student to an adult functioning in this grown up world. Now that the title is clear, let me explain.
It's almost been a year since I've graduated college, and it does not feel like it at all. I thought I would be greatly changed by the milestone... yet I feel little difference. Well, that's not entirely true or false. I am less stressed, and I feel more free, but as a whole I am quite unmoved. I haven't gotten wiser, nor do I feel more adult like. Actually, if I think hard enough, I don't remember being supper giddy for graduation, anyway. I just knew I was ready to go, but would also miss college.
I also think to myself, did I really enjoy college that much? I hated my senior year for the most part. I hated studying and doing homework. It all didn't seem worth it, but I did what I was there to do. So, I'm not sure if I miss college or all of the extras it brought along: the closeness of my friends, and the security it offered me. I always had a schedule to follow, and things to do. I was always busy. That part of my life is gone now. College was, my security blanket. I didn't have to think about spending time with my friends, because I was always around them. It's a conscious effort to do so now, ha. I was a bit unprepared for the real world. Why is there no class in that? Real Life 101: Adulthood.
As people we are always growing. Now matter our age, or point of life. Just like taxes, the change is inevitable. Transition and growth are about the same thing, right? My biggest transition has been from a college student to what I assume is an adult working in the real world. This is real life. Life after college has been one of my biggest fears, and oddly something that still seems to excite me. I'll take the liberty, and speak on everyone's behalf with the belief that that everyone wants to be great post-graduation. Graduates want to work their dream jobs, live in our dream houses, push our dream whips, all while making our desired salaries + some. BUT, what happens when that all doesn't happen right away? I know it takes time, and that's the scary part. How much time does it take?
I entered college in the Fall of 2011 with expectations and ambitions bigger than me. I'm not Jay Z, but I had the Blueprint. I was going to be a psychologist. I was firm on that. I wasn't going to be among the 50% of students who enter college undecided about their major. I also knew for sure that I would not be part of the "unsurprisingly," 80% of college students who would change their major at least once before graduation. I suppose I had no clue what my actual interest was. I was 17 years old when I made these plans. As luck would have it, I found myself in my adviser's office requesting to change my major. During my short time as a Psychology major, I never walked away with feelings of yeah, I can see myself doing that! It was more self questioning on why I was doing it. My transition to the department of Social Work and Sociology was effortless, for the most part...
I enjoyed exploring social work as a possible career for myself. It just made sense. I came to discover that social work was not just about taking children from their families. It can be that, and more! As the years continued I learned, gained knowledge, and built interest. Toward the climax of my senior year, I felt that I was losing interest. Even to me it didn't make sense, but it was my reality. I chalked these feelings up to being tired, relationships with a professor or two, and a bad case of senioritis. I never had plans to quit, but entertaining the thought was freeing. Fast forward - I graduated. It's lit!
I was offered a job, but decided against it, because bills exist, and Sallie Mae had her hand out + I still wanted to live. I could have sacrificed everything, but I could not find the worth in it. Was that the right decision? I don't know.
I have a job now, it's nothing that I would have imagined doing, and I don't see myself here next year, but I'm good. My bills are paid, and that is great. But, of course, I can't help but to wonder what's next? Often feelings of discouragement find their way to me, and I remind myself that I'm twenty-two. I have a whole lot of living to do. In a perfect world I would have had a job offer waiting for me at the door, and a salary that would make me spark a grin when I thought about it. As good as it sounds, it's not my reality - and I'm not alone in that! I've accepted that. What I have I learned is that while the work in the classroom is important, the work we do once we leave our institutions is just as, if not more important. Yes, this has been told to me. I supposed it was a lesson I really needed to learn for myself.
I'm a grown kid, and that will probably never change. Shedding my expectations helps, as nothing will work if you aren't working toward it. Also, I was stuck in the mindset of being confined to one career field, which I've since disregarded - which makes me even more lost, but I'm okay with that!
What's life without school? A question I constantly ask myself. A bunch of real-life-adult-stuff. Soon this will be normal, and we will all finally be used to it. Life is one big transition, and everyone is going through one. This is mine. My life is an Ambition Wasteland waiting to be used for good.
I know it gets better, and I am not looking for sympathy - I'm good! Just my current thoughts.
College was fun, but there is where L I F E starts!