I didn't have the words this week, so check out this guest post from Drinkard Timms.
True Life: I'm Maskaphobic
It's confession time, no Usher. This might make you laugh, and or judge me a bit, I suppose that is fine.
OK, we all have fears. Some make more sense than others, but nonetheless fear exist in us all.
For as long as I can remember, I have had an awful fear of large mascot costumes. Yes, you can laugh. Believe it or not, I think its ridiculous too. Luckily, as I've grown older the fear has settled. Although, my heart might skip a beat when I see a mascot. I'm able to be in the same room now, and we might even be able to take a picture. That might be pushing it. See, this isn't some random fear, because I have a story of where it may have originated, so just read this with an open mind, haha.
According to About.com, Maskaphobia, or a fear of mask, is surprisingly common, especially among children. It's also important to know that Masklophobia is part of normal childhood development. So, what's my excuse? Because of how normal it is, it's not usually diagnosed in children unless it persist for six months or longer. Ok, for real. What's my excuse?
There are no known causes of Maskaphobia, which makes sense, because cannot explain this fear. So, here's the story on how it may have started - thanks, mom!
When I turned two-years-old, my then very young parents decided that they would throw me a party, a very big party, actually. Now that I think about it, maybe the party was actually for them, but I'm sure they meant well. We had cake, ice cream, balloons, kids, a pony, and a very stressed-looking Barney. Barney as I knew him was more of a magenta color, not exactly purple and he was big. I think you get it. Anyway, not this Barney, he was dark purple - sick looking purple. Imagine the color of an eggplant. It's the only purple comparable. He also looked deflated a bit. This barney had an illness, and even at the age of two, I knew something wasn't right with homie. Like, drunk uncle bad. That's it!
It was a nice summer day in July. Sun was shining, smiles on everyone's faces. The pony was sitting pretty, kids and parents enjoying themselves, and then rough-life Barney showed up. Now that I think of it, imagine: Barney gets cancelled, he doesn't know what to do with himself, so he turns to a life of alcohol and hard drugs, this is what this Barney looked like. That's perfect. For whatever reason, the party moved inside. Maybe it started to rain, I'm not sure. Young Ray is walking from the stairs to outside, and Barney is coming inside. We came face-to-face, and it's been history ever since. I've never trusted a human dressed as a big mascot ever again.
Growing up, I hated going to children's parties if mascots were involved. I always thought they were cool, but was insanely afraid. Parties hosted a Chuck E' Cheese were the death of me. I was never able to enjoy them, as I spent the bulk of the time looking over my shoulder. Sitting for cake and ice cream was a task in itself. Please don't walk behind me. Please don't walk behind me if the chant that I sang - in my head of course!
As I mentioned earlier, the odd thing about this phobia is that I've always been fascinated by the costumes. I still think that they are cool. As a child I did too, just from a distance. Just like many children, I wanted to go to Disney Land. Now, I've never been, but I thought about the influx of mascots and I don't think my heart could take it. Luckily, my family took me to Universal Studios, and those costumes were at a minimum. I was thankful.
As I type this, I'm realizing how ridiculous this is, and I can't help but to laugh at myself.
Do you have any past or current phobias? Let me know in the comment section!
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Woes of a Passive Child
please excuse my grammar, I just needed to write.
so, this all came to me the night of my college graduation. Some bullshit family stuff happened, and it put my whole life into perspective. Growing up I was always the quiet child, the momma's boy, the kid who never spoke. Basically, all of this painted a picture to some of how my life would be. I'm not that kid anymore.
As I grew up, my personality grew too. High school is when I felt that I grew into the person I am today. There were situations that I put myself in that I could have never imagined. While my change was apparent to me, I am not sure the folks around me caught on as quick. If there were family disputes, I always stayed neutral for the most part. Spoke my opinion, but never picked sides. That was me then. All of this sounds normal, but it painted a picture of who I was at the time. I've grown, but i was neutral. Neutral, adjective.
1. Not helping or supporting either side in conflict, disagreement, etc; impartial.
2. Having no strongly marked or positive characteristics or features.
I never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings, start an argument, anything! but does anyone? Because of this, people expected me to be like this my whole life. I've allowed folks to do anything to me, then sweep it under the rug. I don't fault them. People follow patterns. We do to people what we believe they will allow. My folks are no different.
I still struggle with people expecting me to be the same boy I was 10 years ago, and not respecting me for the man I am today. It's kind of crazy to believe that as I grew up my people would not grow with me. That's my reality.
I have no clue why I am writing this, lol.