please excuse my grammar, I just needed to write.
so, this all came to me the night of my college graduation. Some bullshit family stuff happened, and it put my whole life into perspective. Growing up I was always the quiet child, the momma's boy, the kid who never spoke. Basically, all of this painted a picture to some of how my life would be. I'm not that kid anymore.
As I grew up, my personality grew too. High school is when I felt that I grew into the person I am today. There were situations that I put myself in that I could have never imagined. While my change was apparent to me, I am not sure the folks around me caught on as quick. If there were family disputes, I always stayed neutral for the most part. Spoke my opinion, but never picked sides. That was me then. All of this sounds normal, but it painted a picture of who I was at the time. I've grown, but i was neutral. Neutral, adjective.
1. Not helping or supporting either side in conflict, disagreement, etc; impartial.
2. Having no strongly marked or positive characteristics or features.
I never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings, start an argument, anything! but does anyone? Because of this, people expected me to be like this my whole life. I've allowed folks to do anything to me, then sweep it under the rug. I don't fault them. People follow patterns. We do to people what we believe they will allow. My folks are no different.
I still struggle with people expecting me to be the same boy I was 10 years ago, and not respecting me for the man I am today. It's kind of crazy to believe that as I grew up my people would not grow with me. That's my reality.
I have no clue why I am writing this, lol.