Podcast are the new normal in today's media. Are you listening?
True Life: I'm Maskaphobic
It's confession time, no Usher. This might make you laugh, and or judge me a bit, I suppose that is fine.
OK, we all have fears. Some make more sense than others, but nonetheless fear exist in us all.
For as long as I can remember, I have had an awful fear of large mascot costumes. Yes, you can laugh. Believe it or not, I think its ridiculous too. Luckily, as I've grown older the fear has settled. Although, my heart might skip a beat when I see a mascot. I'm able to be in the same room now, and we might even be able to take a picture. That might be pushing it. See, this isn't some random fear, because I have a story of where it may have originated, so just read this with an open mind, haha.
According to About.com, Maskaphobia, or a fear of mask, is surprisingly common, especially among children. It's also important to know that Masklophobia is part of normal childhood development. So, what's my excuse? Because of how normal it is, it's not usually diagnosed in children unless it persist for six months or longer. Ok, for real. What's my excuse?
There are no known causes of Maskaphobia, which makes sense, because cannot explain this fear. So, here's the story on how it may have started - thanks, mom!
When I turned two-years-old, my then very young parents decided that they would throw me a party, a very big party, actually. Now that I think about it, maybe the party was actually for them, but I'm sure they meant well. We had cake, ice cream, balloons, kids, a pony, and a very stressed-looking Barney. Barney as I knew him was more of a magenta color, not exactly purple and he was big. I think you get it. Anyway, not this Barney, he was dark purple - sick looking purple. Imagine the color of an eggplant. It's the only purple comparable. He also looked deflated a bit. This barney had an illness, and even at the age of two, I knew something wasn't right with homie. Like, drunk uncle bad. That's it!
It was a nice summer day in July. Sun was shining, smiles on everyone's faces. The pony was sitting pretty, kids and parents enjoying themselves, and then rough-life Barney showed up. Now that I think of it, imagine: Barney gets cancelled, he doesn't know what to do with himself, so he turns to a life of alcohol and hard drugs, this is what this Barney looked like. That's perfect. For whatever reason, the party moved inside. Maybe it started to rain, I'm not sure. Young Ray is walking from the stairs to outside, and Barney is coming inside. We came face-to-face, and it's been history ever since. I've never trusted a human dressed as a big mascot ever again.
Growing up, I hated going to children's parties if mascots were involved. I always thought they were cool, but was insanely afraid. Parties hosted a Chuck E' Cheese were the death of me. I was never able to enjoy them, as I spent the bulk of the time looking over my shoulder. Sitting for cake and ice cream was a task in itself. Please don't walk behind me. Please don't walk behind me if the chant that I sang - in my head of course!
As I mentioned earlier, the odd thing about this phobia is that I've always been fascinated by the costumes. I still think that they are cool. As a child I did too, just from a distance. Just like many children, I wanted to go to Disney Land. Now, I've never been, but I thought about the influx of mascots and I don't think my heart could take it. Luckily, my family took me to Universal Studios, and those costumes were at a minimum. I was thankful.
As I type this, I'm realizing how ridiculous this is, and I can't help but to laugh at myself.
Do you have any past or current phobias? Let me know in the comment section!
Oh, and don't forget to add your emails to the mailing list - you'll get updates only when I post something new. Thank you!
What's Your Personality?
What's up? My name is Ray, which you probably already knew. What you probably weren't aware of is that I am an INFP. A special type of person, of course. That's what I learned from my results of the popular personality test, which is taken by millions of people, and is also used by many companies during hiring decisions. The test is called Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), and my score showed me that I am "the mediator," more introverted than extroverted, my decisions are based mainly on emotion, and I am "turbulent" meaning, I am driven by thoughts of cusses, and eager to constantly improve. Where's the lie?
I don't know about you, but I'm skeptical of everything I read and hear. I google everything. I tried the test a few times, and received the same results. I'm a believer, and so, here we are. I asked a few people in my office to take the test, and they too were surprised. It was the conversation of piece for the remainder of our work day. Most of my co-workers were pleased, and agreed with their results.
So, this all came about because of my avid interest in podcast. I was listening to The Friendzone, and there is a Wellness Segment every week. That segment is all about overall wellbeing, and the MBTI was mentioned. Fran, who is one of the host mentioned how it was strangely accurate, but also helpful to her to read more about her specific personality type. While, nobody knows ourselves better than us, and maybe, arguably our parents, I still needed to understand the hype.
It's no secret that I'm always searching for whats next in my life, so the suggested career types for my personality type interested me greatly. The test also stated that INFPs have challenges finding a satisfying career. Where's the lie?
Here are a few of my suggested careers:
- Massage Therapy
- Physical Rehabilitation
- Counseling
- Social Work - I got something right
- Psychology
- Academics
Famous INFPS:
William Shakespeare, Johnny Depp, and Julia Roberts.
Regardless how well we believe that we know ourselves there is always more to learn, and while the Myers - Briggs Type Indicator may not be 100% accurate for you, it may open your eyes, and reveal just a little bit about yourself. It did that for me.
Enough about me. If you're interested in finding out your personality type click here, or visit www.16personalities.com & share your results below and let me know if they're accurate for you!
Also, don't forget to add your email to the new subscription box to get updates every time a new post is published!
After the Walk: I am Still Transitioning
I feel obligated to clear up this title due to the forever changing meaning of words. By walk, I shuffling my legs slowly across the stage to accept my diploma during my graduation ceremony, ha. Of course, when I use transition I mean that I am growing from a former college student to an adult functioning in this grown up world. Now that the title is clear, let me explain.
It's almost been a year since I've graduated college, and it does not feel like it at all. I thought I would be greatly changed by the milestone... yet I feel little difference. Well, that's not entirely true or false. I am less stressed, and I feel more free, but as a whole I am quite unmoved. I haven't gotten wiser, nor do I feel more adult like. Actually, if I think hard enough, I don't remember being supper giddy for graduation, anyway. I just knew I was ready to go, but would also miss college.
I also think to myself, did I really enjoy college that much? I hated my senior year for the most part. I hated studying and doing homework. It all didn't seem worth it, but I did what I was there to do. So, I'm not sure if I miss college or all of the extras it brought along: the closeness of my friends, and the security it offered me. I always had a schedule to follow, and things to do. I was always busy. That part of my life is gone now. College was, my security blanket. I didn't have to think about spending time with my friends, because I was always around them. It's a conscious effort to do so now, ha. I was a bit unprepared for the real world. Why is there no class in that? Real Life 101: Adulthood.
As people we are always growing. Now matter our age, or point of life. Just like taxes, the change is inevitable. Transition and growth are about the same thing, right? My biggest transition has been from a college student to what I assume is an adult working in the real world. This is real life. Life after college has been one of my biggest fears, and oddly something that still seems to excite me. I'll take the liberty, and speak on everyone's behalf with the belief that that everyone wants to be great post-graduation. Graduates want to work their dream jobs, live in our dream houses, push our dream whips, all while making our desired salaries + some. BUT, what happens when that all doesn't happen right away? I know it takes time, and that's the scary part. How much time does it take?
I entered college in the Fall of 2011 with expectations and ambitions bigger than me. I'm not Jay Z, but I had the Blueprint. I was going to be a psychologist. I was firm on that. I wasn't going to be among the 50% of students who enter college undecided about their major. I also knew for sure that I would not be part of the "unsurprisingly," 80% of college students who would change their major at least once before graduation. I suppose I had no clue what my actual interest was. I was 17 years old when I made these plans. As luck would have it, I found myself in my adviser's office requesting to change my major. During my short time as a Psychology major, I never walked away with feelings of yeah, I can see myself doing that! It was more self questioning on why I was doing it. My transition to the department of Social Work and Sociology was effortless, for the most part...
I enjoyed exploring social work as a possible career for myself. It just made sense. I came to discover that social work was not just about taking children from their families. It can be that, and more! As the years continued I learned, gained knowledge, and built interest. Toward the climax of my senior year, I felt that I was losing interest. Even to me it didn't make sense, but it was my reality. I chalked these feelings up to being tired, relationships with a professor or two, and a bad case of senioritis. I never had plans to quit, but entertaining the thought was freeing. Fast forward - I graduated. It's lit!
I was offered a job, but decided against it, because bills exist, and Sallie Mae had her hand out + I still wanted to live. I could have sacrificed everything, but I could not find the worth in it. Was that the right decision? I don't know.
I have a job now, it's nothing that I would have imagined doing, and I don't see myself here next year, but I'm good. My bills are paid, and that is great. But, of course, I can't help but to wonder what's next? Often feelings of discouragement find their way to me, and I remind myself that I'm twenty-two. I have a whole lot of living to do. In a perfect world I would have had a job offer waiting for me at the door, and a salary that would make me spark a grin when I thought about it. As good as it sounds, it's not my reality - and I'm not alone in that! I've accepted that. What I have I learned is that while the work in the classroom is important, the work we do once we leave our institutions is just as, if not more important. Yes, this has been told to me. I supposed it was a lesson I really needed to learn for myself.
I'm a grown kid, and that will probably never change. Shedding my expectations helps, as nothing will work if you aren't working toward it. Also, I was stuck in the mindset of being confined to one career field, which I've since disregarded - which makes me even more lost, but I'm okay with that!
What's life without school? A question I constantly ask myself. A bunch of real-life-adult-stuff. Soon this will be normal, and we will all finally be used to it. Life is one big transition, and everyone is going through one. This is mine. My life is an Ambition Wasteland waiting to be used for good.
I know it gets better, and I am not looking for sympathy - I'm good! Just my current thoughts.
College was fun, but there is where L I F E starts!
Its Christmas?
It's the least Christmassy Christmas ever...
Has the magic worn off? Is it the lack of snow? Just like Sway, I ain't got the answers.
I originally started writing this on December 21st, and at that time I was not finished holiday shopping. I am the Professional Procrastinator. I remember saying that in October I would start. False hope.
Could it be my age? The fact that I have to work? I'm still banking on the lack of snow.
Everywhere is plastered with Christmas decorations, and I just don't believe it. Yeah, its Christmas time, but it's 50 degrees. New to me!
Aside from that, I've had some really great Christmas memories. I guess I am okay, with Christmas not feeling like it used to.
Few memories:
1. We just moved (like we did often, lol), and my mom didn't have much money to give us what she believed we wanted. I know this now, but I didn't know that then. It was probably one of the best holidays ever! I got this DVD player. It was the size of a microwave, but I loved it.
2. I received two Gameboy Colors on year. That was fun. I used to rotate between the two. That was awesome!
3. My sister and I were huge wrestling fans, and we thought that we weren't going to be able to go when they came to Buffalo years ago. Of course, there were tickets in our stockings, which we kind of ignored that morning. So lame, but we were crazy hype about that! My mom always came through with the best gifts.
Would love to hear some of your Christmas memories! Feel free to leave a comment below.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Writer's Block
Is it too early to consider me a writer?
It's been about 3 weeks since my last post. Not because I was resistant to writing, but I have had a terrible case of Writer's Block. It was scary, new blog, no new content.
I was reading a book called "Buck: a memoir" by the author, MK Asante. In chapter 36, he talked about how his teacher instructed him to just write. It did not matter what the subject matter was, just release thoughts onto paper. He struggled with this. Write about what? He couldn't think. Until he realized, he didn't need to think much, he needed to just write. Once he began to write, he found that it was something that he wanted to consistently do.
How can you write about something when you have no ideas? You just do it. That's what MK Asante did, and I've followed suit.
Hands on this keyboard, loose, with rhythm in my wrist. I'm listening to the new Logic album. I feel like I can write my future, spell out my dreams, and destiny in keystrokes.
Staring at this blank web page, and I see the light's reflection. Would be a lie if I said this didn't feel familiar, but I feel purpose in this writing. I can't identify this purpose, but it is present. At 22 years of age, months after college graduation, it's there. My mind is stuck. I feel happy that I am writing this, but I cannot find many words to describe.
I'll get to the point.
I've got writer's block, but still a lot to say. Does that make sense?
The thought of creating AmbitionWasteland (the name is fairly new), harvested in my brain for months - probably closer to a year before I made any moves. Actually, I wrote "Woes of a Passive Child" about three months ago. I sat with it and thought that the words would never be read by anyone but me. I wanted everyone to read it, but... nerves! I've let my nerves get the best of me, pretty much my whole life.
I went into this whole thing thinking that not one person would be interested in reading what I have to say, and I have been proven wrong to some extent. The day I posted for the first time, I sent it to Facebook, and logged off. I had no plans to log back in, just in case someone commented. I did not want to see, at least I thought I didn't. I kept logging in, and check my notifications (there weren't many), but I needed to know.
All the positive feedback has been awesome, and it motivates me to keep going.
Comments are always welcome!
-
Woes of a Passive Child
please excuse my grammar, I just needed to write.
so, this all came to me the night of my college graduation. Some bullshit family stuff happened, and it put my whole life into perspective. Growing up I was always the quiet child, the momma's boy, the kid who never spoke. Basically, all of this painted a picture to some of how my life would be. I'm not that kid anymore.
As I grew up, my personality grew too. High school is when I felt that I grew into the person I am today. There were situations that I put myself in that I could have never imagined. While my change was apparent to me, I am not sure the folks around me caught on as quick. If there were family disputes, I always stayed neutral for the most part. Spoke my opinion, but never picked sides. That was me then. All of this sounds normal, but it painted a picture of who I was at the time. I've grown, but i was neutral. Neutral, adjective.
1. Not helping or supporting either side in conflict, disagreement, etc; impartial.
2. Having no strongly marked or positive characteristics or features.
I never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings, start an argument, anything! but does anyone? Because of this, people expected me to be like this my whole life. I've allowed folks to do anything to me, then sweep it under the rug. I don't fault them. People follow patterns. We do to people what we believe they will allow. My folks are no different.
I still struggle with people expecting me to be the same boy I was 10 years ago, and not respecting me for the man I am today. It's kind of crazy to believe that as I grew up my people would not grow with me. That's my reality.
I have no clue why I am writing this, lol.
Welcome..
What's up world?
My name is Ray, and I've been wanting to build an outlet for me to speak about all things personal, current, and trending.
I've been running with the thought of creating a blog to express myself outside the limits of 140 characters. I enjoy pop culture, television, and music. Lots of music. This will be a place for my open opinion, and I always welcome yours.
The comment section will be open, and I encourage all readers to chime in on the conversation. I look forward to this journey.
Peace to the planet,
Ray